


A Familiar's Familiar

by weirdbitterdays



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a love letter to cats?, they love each other but the rituals are INTRICATE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdbitterdays/pseuds/weirdbitterdays
Summary: A friendly black cat visits Guillermo while he works in the yard.
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 166





	A Familiar's Familiar

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from Nandors_Wizard_Hat. Thank you for the cute idea!

It was another night of chores for Guillermo. If he really wanted to torture himself, he could count out exactly how many nights of his 20s he had spent sawing up victims - people with families and lives, he reminded himself - and digging holes in a methodical rotational spiral around the yard, leaving them to decompose and become fetiliser for vulva topiaries. He knew being a familiar wasn’t going to be fun exactly, he just expected to have moved up a little bit by now. Ten years on the job without a promotion wasn’t a good look, no matter how you put it. His Master was also being a jerk again today, as per usual. 

Guillermo saw a shadow pass out of the corner of his eye. He turned quickly, looking for the source. His heartbeat picked up pace. Not another assassin, he hoped. He scanned the yard quickly, then sighed in relief. It was a black cat, which had leapt up to sit on the brick fence. It blinked slowly at him. 

“Oh, you’re a handsome kitty aren’t you?” Guillermo said in a baby voice, smiling at it. The cat lazily flicked its tail. Guillermo went back to his hole-digging. The vampires had made quick work of an entire frat house today - he was honestly kind of impressed - so he had his work cut out for him tonight. He enjoyed the metallic shink of his old shovel with each pass through the dirt, at least. 

He looked up again at the cat. It was now on it’s side, deeply engrossed in cleaning its paws, licking its stomach, giving itself a bath. He just watched for a bit, smiling. Guillermo loved cats. In a way they were like vampires. Well, the idea of vampires, he corrected himself, as the idiocy of his particular group didn’t pass him. No, cats are like what vampires are to the outsider who hasn’t had a decade of time to learn that living eternally kind of makes you dumber, pokes holes in your brain like swiss cheese. 

Cats are lithe, graceful. Bound to pounce at a moment’s notice. Sharp fangs, and yet...soft. Soft, and cuddleable. Outlandishly stupid in their own way. When fed, they are happy, lazy. They’re by your side only when they want to be, and boy when they want to be, there they are. 

“You remind me of some people I know.” The cat blinks at him.

After about half an hour’s worth of work, he paused for a breather, sweat starting to bead up on his brow. 

The cat meowed at him. He looked back over at it. It meowed again, looking directly at him. It purred loudly, its round belly lifting and falling with each breath. Guillermo smiled. “Well, at least I have a kitty friend to keep me company.” 

The cat got up off the wall with a chirp, leaping softly to the ground and trotting over to him, its tail high in the air. It rubbed up against his legs, purring loudly, weaving between his khakis. He whimpered at how cute the cat was being. He reached down, petting it’s soft fur, its ears. He sat down, and the cat leapt into his lap, still purring madly, rubbing its face against him, headbutting him. He laughed, giving the cat a thorough petting through the affection. 

After a minute of two of this, the cat settled down, laying itself across his lap, belly up. He absentmindedly rubbed along its spine, feeling the tender muscles flex and move at his touch. He started to talk to the cat as if they were in the middle of a conversation, picking up where his thoughts had led him.

“You know, I got my Master to give me some days off, and regular breaks. Natalie at the Familiar’s Group says she’s never heard of any familiar getting that before. So that’s pretty nice. And you know what?” His tone turned to one like a child telling a secret, his eyes lighting up, a grin spreading across his face, “He COOKED for me yesterday. I thought he was joking when he offered, but no, he actually wanted to cook some human food.” He paused, his eyes looking far away at the memory, “We couldn’t find the traditional ingredients at the store. We even tried the Halal market but apparently you can’t get goat’s scrotum in New York. We settled on cow’s tongue.” He started laughing, “It was so bad. So, so, bad.” His laughter subsided, but a small smile stayed on his lips. He started petting the cat again. It was still purring, blinking at him, gently whipping its tail. “He can be kind of…” He was going to say sweet, but no one needed to hear that, so he settled on “cool when he wants to be.”

With a sigh, he remembered how much digging he had left to do. “Sorry, pequeñin. I gotta get back to work. Thanks for cheering me up.” He gave the cat one last pet, then stood up, tipping it out of his lap, brushing the dirt off his pants. He went back to work, a little less miserable. The cat stayed around, chasing bugs through the grass, climbing trees like a maniac, laying on the ground near him, watching the bodies tumble into their holes in the ground as he threw them in. When the final body was covered in dirt and the last splash of blood sprayed off the front steps, he realized he hadn’t seen the cat for a few moments. Had finally run off, he guessed. He climbed the back steps to the house, removing his plastic apron and rubber gloves, throwing them in their bucket. 

“Guillermo!” His Master called from the other end of the house. “Guillermo, I’m bored!”  
Guillermo rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold in a smile. “Come to the fancy room, please,” Nandor continued shouting, “I would like to win at Chess again!”

“Be there in a minute!” He called back, exasperated and a tiny bit amused. He looked down, removing his boots and switching out for his sneakers. He noticed small paw prints on the concrete steps, leading into the house, which seemed to turn into boot prints that resembled those of his Master’s once they crossed the threshold. He quirked his head, thinking that was odd, but was distracted by one more call from down the hall, 

“Guillermo!”

“Coming, Master!” He shouted, then under his breath, “It’s like he can’t leave me alone even for a minute.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
